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Not as Bad as I Thought

Alright, this is gonna be a short one because I’m knee-deep in work right now. But an idea popped into my head, and I needed to jot it down to clear my head from some confusing tasks.

So, here’s the scoop: I’m currently on a 3-month contract, and I’ll be wrapping it up in just over a month. It might get extended, and honestly, why not? I dodge the whole job hunting scene, which can totally crush your confidence for a bit. Plus, the pay’s a smidge above minimum wage, and there are those sweet perks like free snacks or lunch from office events or just random kindness from coworkers.

But here’s the kicker—it’s all desk work, from 10 to 7. I’m starting to crave some adventure or at least some fresh air. Everyone here is super nice, but I can’t help but envy some of my friends whose supervisors are inspiring, motivating, and challenging in a good way. Maybe it’s because I’m stuck in a government gig that doesn’t really support that vibe (swear it’s not my supervisor’s fault!).

As this is my first job, I was seriously hesitant to break the news to my mom. I was bracing myself for something like, “Gen Z, huh? Can’t stick to one job?” or “That’s the hustle. Deal with it. That’s how workplaces are.” or even, “Searching for work is more exhausting than the actual job.” But here’s the thing—I decided not to extend my contract, not to bail halfway. And it wasn’t even my mom’s style to react that way! I was just overthinking and spiraling into negativity.

Eventually, I couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore. After getting some awesome support from my significant other, I finally told my mom. And bam, she was just as supportive! She said, “I thought your job wasn’t all that desk-bound, and even if it was (since it’s government work and all), you never complained, so I thought you were enjoying it. But if you don’t want to extend, that’s totally fine! This was just your first experience anyway.” And she was so happy about it. She was even proud that I made the decision after discussing it with my SO and her, not just flying solo.

So yeah, it’s not as bad as I thought. It feels amazing to finally share what I’d been holding onto and get that supportive response. I always knew my family loved me, but sometimes I just need to hear it out loud; and sometimes it’s hard to see it when you’re stuck in your own head.

Anyway, I still have about a month and a week left. I could still change my mind, but for now, I’m just glad things aren’t as bleak in my head as they were. Cheers to that!

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